i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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