he wants to bone in the snuggie
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
