chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
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He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
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I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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