It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
