Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
