Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
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When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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