Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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