i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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