Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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