woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.