Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
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I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
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Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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