I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was totally pumped and so was my beard