Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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