shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires