with your own penis?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
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All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
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Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys