i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.