My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash