Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection