Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
this boner is exhausting
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
