No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
God I need to hump something, right now.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
