You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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