Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize