Just fell off a train. Bad.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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