I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.