my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.