I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
