I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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