i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
