In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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