I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
