I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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