Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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