I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
