I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
