Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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