Where is the hickey?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
