if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize