used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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