You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
