Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
