I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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