All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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