I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize