Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize