I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
