Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
