So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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