i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
did i walk over a car last night?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
