i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
