just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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