she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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