you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
