I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
