You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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