ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
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New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
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I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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