I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
