I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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