so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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