I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize