i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
