Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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