there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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