I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
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Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
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Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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