So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
